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“When you reach 50 you know that time is running out. It’s make or break – why on earth would you want to slow down?” asks Caroline when we sit down together. The philosophy of work hard, play hard has always been central in her life, right from when she first started in banking, straight from school.

“My husband worked for the same bank and we took every opportunity, moving around the country as required to make the most of our careers.” Caroline’s career took her to the City where she began to specialise in advising female clients.

“I started a new company with colleagues which was later taken over by a national company.” As soon as she was legally able, Caroline started up again as an independent, forming Anstee & Co in 2012. “It would have been easy to stay with the larger company,” she admits, “but I’m not ready to slow down yet.”

The opportunity to mould and train the next generation is important to Caroline, both within her own business and in her work as a tutor in personal finance at a University. She also revels in the freedom to offer a wide range of services for her clients. How does she do it all and what keeps her motivated?

“The church has been a constant in my life,” she reflects, it keeps me grounded and I like the familiarity. I like to help people and I like to be busy, at work and socially.” She is very clear about what she wants in the future. “I want to earn enough over the next 10 years to be able to fund my projects and give to the causes dear to me.”

I leave in awe of her laser-like focus and in no doubt that with her work ethic and drive Caroline will see everything she sets out to achieve come to fruition.

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TURN OFF THE NEWS

Actor, Morgan Freeman’s take on how US society can counter the scourge of mass shootings (applies in other areas, both geographic and subject matter I think, do you?)

“You want to know why [this continues to happen]. This may sound cynical, but here’s why. It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single *victim* of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody. CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I’ve seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you’ve just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man’s name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news.”

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One of the things that really strikes me when interviewing for the book and this blog is the urge we all get when we pass the half century to “give back”. Sometimes it’s obvious how to do so – mentoring a younger colleague, volunteering at a care home – other times it’s hard to know how best to use one’s limited time or resources to fulfil that need and maximise the effect one can have.

I use my camera when I can, and am delighted to be able to support the efforts of two lovely ladies, Sara and Catherine, to fund-raise for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Both have children who suffer from this life-limiting condition and have raised over £30,000 between them to help fund vital research. Last Saturday, they subjected themselves to a public head shaving –  I’ve written more about this on my photography blog and hope that you will take the time to click on over. Maybe even choose to connect with me there too? There will be more images posted in the coming weeks.

Following the very public event, I invited Catherine and Sara to my home studio to be treated to a make-up and photo shoot session, with the aim of creating some beautiful portraits that might help the CF Trust to raise the profile of their work. I think you will agree, they look beautiful sans hair. As Roald Dahl said: “Think beautiful thoughts and they will shine out of your face like sunbeams.” Despite the worry, the sleepless nights and the relentless need to raise funds to support vital research which could potentially save the lives of their children, Sara and Catherine emanate sunbeams. I feel privileged to be able to help in this small way.

The Razor Girls

If you would like to find out more about Cystic Fibrosis and/or make a donation to Sara and Catherine’s fundraiser, please click for their Virgin Money Giving Page

A video of the event can be found on YouTube

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Carole got in touch because she saw a comment I wrote on a blog by an Evening Standard journalist who was turning 50.

“I was going to contact her,” she wrote, “but then saw your comment and realised it was you I needed to contact as on my ‘life board’ I have the words I want a picture of myself that I love.”

Carole came to me initially as a client, but after reading her letter, I knew I wanted her to be part of this project. You see, Carole is someone who believes in making things happen. She says it’s down to discovering The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, which, she explains, “tells you not to think about things will happen, just believe they will.” Personally, I believe that when someone truly believes in the “bounty of the Universe”, they naturally become more receptive to opportunity and take action that creates change. But that’s my personal opinion, and however it “works”, it has certainly worked for Carole!

“I think that maybe there’s a positive side to a mid-life crisis, or whatever happens to you when you hit the “age wall”, but I have become compelled to act like a human sponge and soak up as much of life’s experiences as I can before I take my last breath.”

A self employed IT consultant, Carole is happy in her career and with her friends, but has been less “lucky” in love. But whilst she admits she’d like to meet someone special, she’s certainly not sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring!

“I have ballroom dancing lessons, I sing in a choir (and would like to sing professionally), am learning to play piano, I go to the gym, see my mother in Portugal regularly, go out with my girlfriends…” she also travels extensively and is interested in so many things, we spent a wonderful day together.

I’m glad to say that Carole was happy with the images we made together and I am so proud to have helped her to tick another item off her list. And I look forward to seeing her again as she works her way through her ‘life board’!

Friends in the City

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50 interviews and portraits of 50 inspiring people. Some have struggled with the concept of turning 50. Most have taken life by the horns and given it a good shake! Be inspired…

“…I love the book!  I have ordered 2 but will get more – great birthday presents for my friends on their 50th!” Caroline

50 facing 50 by Jo Blackwell | Make Your Own Book

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So – what did YOU see when you looked in the mirror this morning? Could your perception be affected by your gender? Many of you will have seen Dove’s new campaign “You are more beautiful than you think you are”. It is moving, thought-provoking and well worth another watch:

Now see the one that’s been made with men in the chair. Some are saying this is anti-man, or that it makes fun of the Dove campaign. I say: lighten up – it’s called satire. And it made me laugh. I hope it gets your Saturday off to a good start!

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Comedian, George Carlin, recently published the following “Words of Wisdom”

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways ,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don’t share this with anyone….Who cares?

George Carlin

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Today I am proud to announce that the book of 50 portraits and interviews with 50 project50 readers is available to buy. Eighteen months in the making, it has been a personal and professional journey that I will never forget. Click on the link below to see a preview. If you want to be inspired, or know someone who is dreading turning 50, it’s a good buy I’d love to know what you think.

50 facing 50

Celebrating Life’s …

By Jo Blackwell

Book Preview

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An American Abroad

Visiting her sister in London, American, Jill, booked me for a photo shoot and came to stay overnight (customer service, you see!) I “met” Jill online when she started to follow project50 and began to comment regularly on my posts. I loved the fact that, having been inspired to start my blog by The Wartime Housewife, Jill was in turn inspired to document her “year of Jubilee” as she approached her 50th birthday with a blog of her own.

A mother of five, Jill’s Christian faith is a mainstay in a life that has been both rich in experience and fraught with difficulty. Shortly after her husband won his fight against cancer, they lost their teenage son, James. Such unendurable heartache triggered a reassessment of their priorities and a complete life change.

“We bought an RV and took the younger children on the road for nine months,” Jill tells me. In her blog, she describes their odyssey thus: “it was a time of physical journeys, even while we were taking an internal journey from grieving and loss toward hope.”

Jill celebrated James’ life recently with a tattoo – “Heaven’s Gift” was the name James gave to an online video game prize he received four days before his accident, and the phrase aptly describes the way Jill feels about the short time she had him with her.

How does she feel about turning 50? “I know I want this Year of Jubilee to be a turning point for me—a place to pause while I look over my past and look toward my future. I want this year to be something I can look back to and remind myself, this is when I chose to follow Christ more fully, allowing Him to bring healing to broken places inside me and helping me walk into a more abundant life.I want this to be the time when I begin to dance my way through life.”

At the time of our meeting, the family were working with “at risk” Navajo youngsters, though funding for that project was shortly to come to an end. Jill meets uncertainty with a calmness born of experience. Every change is seen as a challenge, whether she is training to become a National Ski Patroller in Ohio, flying to Germany for three months to help out a friend, scrap booking with her daughter or taking on the authorities as an advocate for her young students. I guess that when the very worst has happened and you have survived, there is little left to fear.

I look forward to watching you dance through your fifties, Jill, and I hope we meet again before too long.

You can read about Jill’s explanation of the concept of “Jubilee” on her blog here

Jill’s blogpost about our meeting

and more images can be seen on my Celebrate Life! blog here

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I’m writing this from the comfort of my bed. Propped up on all sides by feather-filled pillows, snuggled beneath the duvet, the rain and the wind performing a symphony outside the window, I am cocooned in my own little world.

I guess I should feel guilty. After all, it’s 10am and the whole world, it seems, is at work, or in school or otherwise usefully employed, and here I am, still in bed. Well, I don’t. Not a bit. Fact is, I rose at 4am because my manic brain woke me up. I went downstairs, switched on my laptop and started work. Once Husband of my Heart had left for work, I retreated to my bed – and carried on working. But at least I’m semi-horizontal: that counts as “resting”, right?

Truth is, I get a heck of a lot done on my occasional “duvet days”. There’s something about deciding that you’re going to let the daily chores go hang, switching on your voicemail and retreating that gives one a sense of perfect calm. It re-sets me: quietens my racing thoughts and allows my mind to wander freely. And we all know how creative a wandering mind can be, don’t we?

So no, I don’t feel guilty, or in the least bit sinful. And if you feel in the slightest bit shocked by my confession, then I recommend you try it, at least once. Take a packet of biscuits with you (that’s all that’s missing for this to be a perfect morning!)  It doesn’t matter what you do. Read, watch TV, catch up with friends on Facebook, sleep – even work. I guarantee that a bit of sloth-ing will do you good!

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Leisure by WH Davies