Why we should love ourselves TODAY

Kept as a permalink at the top of my photography blog is an article I posted in the summer called A Message to Women Everywhere – and the Men who Love them. I’ve reproduced it below both because it’s something I feel so passionately about and because it is so relevant to women of our age group. And because I’m sick of reading bitchy, sneering comments about women’s  - particularly older women’s – looks in magazines and newspapers.The post was inspired by a beautiful blog post called Letter to my Body by a 36 year old mother, on a blog called Joy in the Journey which was sent to me by Jill, a P50 follower. Written as a “synchro-blog” (where readers are invited to all write a blog on the same subject, on the same day) on She Loves Magazine, the author, Joy, recalls the trials her body has endured and opines that it is not how it looks that matters, but how it serves her.

If you read this blog regularly you’ll know I’ve often written about image and appearance. In July 2010 in Whose Hands? I began: I could write reams about the sadness I feel at the slow, but relentless degradation of my body. I shall skim over the details lest it put you off your skinny latte, suffice it to say that I now have more curves than angles and about as much spring-back-ability in my skin as a piece of broken knicker elastic… 

Suffice to say, I’ve come a long way to be able to write what follows! I hope you enjoy it. I hope you agree with it. I hope you will share it. And to all the (often female) columnists who write scathingly about “crepey décolletage”, and use words like “sagging” and other words redolent of decay when describing women over 30 – stow your misogyny for you too will lose the bloom of youth. I have fat arms. Sometimes, I get them out in public. It doesn’t make me a bad person, or not worth listening to. It doesn’t even make me un-shaggable (shock!) Women age. Get over it.

A Message to Women Everywhere – and the Men who Love them.

When you looked in the mirror today, what did you see? More importantly, what did youthink? If I were a gambler, I’d lay odds that you DIDN’T think, “Hey you – how are you today?” or “You are so beautiful.” I bet your first thought of the day was something self critical. Too fat, too thin, too old, too hamster-cheeked, too tired– I’ve heard it all!

I photograph a lot of women. Women of all ages, sizes, shades and backgrounds. I’ve yet to meet a woman who is happy with the way she looks, or with the image she projects to the world.

Many of these women are conventionally beautiful. Many others might not conform to the strict criteria set for us by…what? Magazines? Men? Porn? Our fellow women? But let me tell you this: Every single one of the women I have photographed is beautiful. I see it through my lens and my mission in life is to show it to the women themselves. It might be a cliche, but like all cliches, it comes from truth: beauty – true beauty – comes from within. It shines from the heart, through the eyes and, let me tell you, it is breathtaking. I spend my professional life breathless.

So, ladies – open your eyes and allow yourself to see. All your love, your good intentions, the nurturing you give to others, the passion you put into your work, the intimacy you share with your lover, your hopes and dreams, are there in your eyes. In comparison, those laughter lines and grey sprinkles in your hair, those few extra pounds, are totally irrelevant.

YOU are BEAUTIFUL. Love yourself NOW, today. Not when you’ve lost 3 stone or found the love of your life or landed your ideal job. Life is going on right now, this minute. Live it in a state of grace.

Have a beautiful day!

Every Woman is Beautiful

Whether pictured in a grotty stairwell…

…or a poppy field, surroundings only act as a frame for the beauty that shines from your eyes

YOU are beautiful

Believe it!

…and love yourself TODAY!