Posted by: Admin | August 4, 2010




sex without strings...?

I remember reading Fear of Flying by Erica Jong in my teens with a mixture of wide-eyed shock, secret elation and mild revulsion. For those of you who don’t know the book, its heroine, Isadora Wing, was a sexually liberated female whose raison d’etre (cue seventies-style shock, horror and outrage) was the pursuit of sex for the sake of it, or the “zipless”… “encounter”. The language of the book was as sexually explicit as its plot and I’m sure I was not the only teen that it introduced to the idea that “nice” girls might. And actually enjoy it.

Little wonder, then, that Ms Jong had mixed feelings about turning 50. Western culture, she opines in Ronnie Sellar’s 50 Things to Do when You Turn 50 is not kind to older women. Ridicule and criticism are part of the status quo – “usually an indication that we are doing something right” – but harder to bear with age.

Jong chose to celebrate her 50th birthday at a spa with her 13 year old daughter. “I needed something private, female and contemplative to sort out my conflicting feelings,” and the spa provided a place to conduct “inner work in the guise of outer exercise.”

taken from the "open salon" blog

So what words of wisdom does the infamous erotic writer (or, rather, writer of erotica… or perhaps not…) have for us on the subject of turning 50? Well, she talks of getting oneself back – someone we like:

“I was getting the humor, the intensity, the balance I had known in childhood. But I was getting it back with a dividend.” Lovely. But whereto the ziplessness of her youth?

“Call it serenity. Call it wisdom. I knew what mattered and what did not.” Yes? “Love mattered. Instant orgasm did not.”

Oh. I feel slightly disappointed. And relieved. Yup, definitely more relieved than disappointed. Casual sex is so exhausting (or so I’ve read ;-)) Go Erica – still a pioneer in that she dares to say what has become the un-sayable – sex is only a part of life, and not always the most important bit.



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