Posted by: Admin | August 10, 2010


no, really – we’re HOT!  You see us everywhere, stripping off when everyone else is in puffa jackets, fanning ourselves with concert programmes, edging surreptitiously towards oscillating fans whilst trying to continue with our conversations. And no, guys, it isn’t because you’ve moved into our orbit. Sorry.

Forgive me if I seem a bit prickly...

Close your eyes and imagine a wave of warm air rolling across your skin. (Gents and young ladies only). Pleasant, huh? Now turn up the heat – go on, high enough so that you break into a sweat – and feel that wave turn into a tsunami. Feel your face turn pink as it burns (but take care not to catch sight of your blotchy cheeks in a shiny surface) and your fingertips tingle.  Now feel the warm film of sweat coat your skin from top to toe and picture a bead or two trickle down your sides…

Don’t fret, it’ll only last a few minutes, but I guarantee that, like the Spanish Inquisition, it’ll take you by surprise (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition). You’ll probably be in the middle of giving a presentation at work, or flirting with someone half your age. (Actually, if you’re flirting with someone half your age, you should be blushing 😉 ) And it could return at at any time, maybe only a few minutes later.

What to do? Well, you could ignore it and blunder on, even though your brain feels as if it’s cooking, or you could find somewhere where you can sit very still until it passes. A glass of cold water is more useful than a glass of wine, and more palatable than some of the foul-tasting natural “remedies” on offer.

You could see your doctor and get yourself pumped full of synthetic chemicals, but that seems a bit extreme and, so I’m told, only puts things on hold. Or you could do what I do – turn to your loved one and, completely out of the blue, give him an earful. It doesn’t matter what about, just let rip like a deranged lunatic. It won’t help, but then I never said I had the answer…

I have to go now and take a cool shower – tonight is not a good night. So, guys, if like my husband you have slunk off to bed with your tail between your legs with a vague feeling that you must have done something really bad (even though you don’t remember it), take heart. It’s probably not your fault. That said, it’s not her’s either. Next time, get a nice cool drink and ride it out. And if you value your testicles, pour one for her too.



  1. Heh, heh, heh brings back memories.

  2. […] For those who like statistics: In almost 4,000 “hits” on the site, the post attracting most spam was the article on M.E. (Sad, that, isn’t it?) Most hits? Still the Saturday Interview with The Wartime Housewife. Most searched term? “Hot over 50s” – hahahaha – I don’t think they get what they were looking for when they clicked through to this article! […]

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