Posted by: Admin | November 9, 2010

My mouth and my foot are well acquainted…

…because “putting my foot in my mouth” is a regular habit of mine. I’m telling you this because, if we meet in the “real” world and you are the easily offend type, I guarantee that I will offend you, probably early on in our acquaintance, and I wanted to warn you in advance. I don’t mean it, it’s just that my brain and my mouth don’t always connect as quickly as I’d like them to, and I have a “certain way with words”. The kids call them “mumisms”.

Let me give you an example. Recently, I went for dinner at the house of a new friend and her husband, a complete stranger to me. I took two bottles of wine: a Chardonnay and something red, and when asked, said I’d like the white, please. On tasting, I found the wine was sharp and fruity and, embarrassed that I’d bought crap wine, apologised. “I’m really sorry – the wine is awful!” Of course, it wasn’t my wine I was drinking, but a Sauvignon my hostess had open in the fridge.

Luckily, in this instance, my insultee was on my sense of humour wave length and saw the funny side. And in my defence, if it had been a Chardonnay, it would have been dire, but you can see my problem.

Still Frank. And still my daughter's partner, in spite of her mother

I once told my daughter that I’d bought her a watch that I thought suited her because it was plain. I meant that it was a practical choice because it would match any outfit, but it took some explaining.

The first time I met my daughter’s partner, I wanted to ask him where his name (Frank) came from – was it a family name, or short for Francis, was what I thought I said, but it actually came out as: “so…is there a reason you’re called Frank?” (I then proceeded to down a glass of water so fast that it started to pour out of my nose and I had to go and be sick in the kitchen sink, but that’s a drinking problem).

Husband of my heart (BSc. C.Eng. M.I.C.E.) once commented that he felt that he and son no. 2 were the runts of the litter when it came to intellect in our family. To which I replied: “I think Daniel’s quite clever, actually.”

Anyway, I hope now that if you meet me, you’ll be prepared. It’s fairly likely I’ll say something peculiar. At least now you know that I don’t mean any offence. So please try not to take any!

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Responses

  1. mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!

    you forgot the M.I.Struct.E. on the end.

  2. Thank you for that it really made me laugh…its so you! : ))))) x

  3. Brilliant! That made me laugh out loud.
    You have yet to offend me…. but I’m sure there’s time!


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