Posted by: Admin | November 27, 2010



He's not heavy...

Hey, boys – did you think you’d got away with it when I wrote my letter to your sisters? hehe – I’ve been saving this 😉  Thing is, you were both the sweetest little boys and watching you grow into the men you are today has been a privilege, and one of the greatest pleasures of my life. You’ve both had your problems as well as your triumphs, but don’t worry, I’m not intending to talk about those. Time was that you used to hang on to my every word, now our time together is so precious, we spend it having fun, not setting the world to rights.

So, where to begin? Not too many words, I guess, or one of you will find his attention wandering and the other will start ending my sentences for me 🙂 This, then, is what I want you to know:

  • BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. 100%. All the time.
  • You don’t always have to have the answers. When a woman tells you she’s had a bad day, she doesn’t want you to tell her how she can put it right, she just wants you to listen, give her a cuddle and pour a large glass of wine. If you can manage a foot massage you will probably pull.
  • However, if she’s had a bad day because the washing machine has broken down then she DOES want you to have all the answers. And the right tools to fix it with.
  • Try to find time to exercise. The male of the species needs a daily run, much like a dog, or you’ll get fidgetty.
  • Beer and fags will take their toll. So will whisky.
  • Sometimes, a toll is worth paying. Just not all the time. Take the scenic route.
  • And don’t take drugs.
  • Pay your bills on time. Save rather than borrow. Spend less than you earn. It’s not rocket science.
  • Learn to say no occasionally. She’ll respect you in the morning. (Just kidding!)
  • Stay interested in your career – never stop looking for your niche.
  • But don’t allow yourself to be defined by what you do. It’s a cliche, but no one has “he was a good worker” emblazoned on his tombstone.
  • Don’t forget to shower. And yes, you DO need clean socks, underpants and shirt EVERY DAY!
  • Be aware of your motives. Examine your conscience. Then stick to your guns.
  • Ask yourselves occasionally: WWPD? (What would Poppa do?) You might dismiss the answer, but it’s a good yardstick!
  • Love your mum. Be available to help your dad when he needs it, as he inevitably will as he gets older. But aside from that, live YOUR life. Don’t look backwards.
  • Never forget that you are still boys. Kick balls, play computer games, laugh at farts.
  • However, don’t allow yourselves to become infantilised by computer games, or continue to try to light your farts. You are men now, not boys 😉
  • Be there for each other, and for your sisters. Friends will come and go, your family will be beside you forever.

That’s about it. Nothing you don’t already know really, but sometimes it’s worth setting these things down. You are, without doubt, two of the best. You both have strong wills and big hearts. One of you, at least, has a reckless streak a mile wide with a smile that matches it, so that’s ok, then. Keep cheerful, look for the good around you – it is there, if hidden at times. When you are tossed about like matchsticks in the fast flowing river of life, don’t forget that there is a safe haven, both in your family home and in my heart. I’ll stop there before you drown in cliches. Keep the faith, boys. Love Mum xxxx



  1. Thanks mum. Perhaps if I’d taken some of this advice sooner I’d still have as much hair as I did in that picture! Top class parenting as usual 🙂

    love Ben

  2. thanks Jo – another menopausal moment for me! Beautiful words well said. My baby is now 21 and I miss him every day – and he’s only a couple of hours away. So hard to let go.

  3. I you are in a position to be doing foot massage, chances are that you have already pulled.

  4. What lovely words, two very lucky boys indeed to have such a fab and caring Mum xx

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