Posted by: Admin | January 10, 2011

Motivation

Personal Trainer, Becca Mclachlan has written for us on project50 before so I’m sure she won’t mind my sharing this with you. This is what dropped into my inbox yesterday:

If beginning of January was ment to be the start of your new healthy eating and fitness routine and you still haven’t quite managed to get going please don’t despair.  If you enjoy feeling sluggish, heavy, maybe even depressed I have put together a four step plan so you can carry on gaining weight, reduce your energy levels and increase your risk of illness.

Step one

The first step is to slow down your metabolic rate, so you’ll burn fewer calories, store more body fat and put on more weight. The easiest way to do this is to stop any exercise or activity (sex included unless you lie perfectly still and let your partner do all the work) and of course spend all of your free time sitting on your arse looking at facebook!! Don’t walk anywhere. Always park as close as possible to your destination and avoid breaking into a sweat at all costs. Whatever you do don’t make an appointment to see a Personal Trainer or take part in group exercise class as this will keep you motivated and get you into a regular exercise routine, it will be terrible because you won’t be able to stop!

Step two

If your not already addicted get addicted to sugar, make sure you eat all those Chistmas choccy’s don’t throw them away or give them to anyone, and take advantage of all the special offers on the junk food at the supermarket where you can buy one and get one free!! Eat these foods whenever you can even if your not hungry, make sure you have a supply in the car, next to your bed, on your desk and down the side of your sofa. The more sugar rich food you eat the sooner you’ll reach your goal of being even more over weight and unhealthy and miserable. The great  thing about sugar is you can stuff yourself with hundreds of excess calories without feeling full!!!!

Step three

Remember that fried foods are good, choosing deep fried or battered foods can double your calorie intake over grilled or steamed. The best choices are burgers, deep-fried chicken or battered fish and don’t forget the fries. They are the perfect combinations of fast-releasing carbohydrate and saturated fat. You’ll spike your blood sugar levels and overload your fat cells at the same time. Always remember to go for the largest portions available!!!

Step four

Make sure you keep eating even if not hungry and avoid water at all costs. We often mistake thirst for hunger as well so if you make the mistake of drinking water you may well curb your appetite. This is a serious set back! If your thirsty drink sugary fizzy drinks, alcohol or tea and coffee with full fat milk and this will help to maximise your calorie intake.

Come on tomorrow is a new week if you haven’t managed to get started yet get your act together and get cracking, I’m hoping a bit of reverse psychology might do the trick!!!

I have a feeling she has a CCTV camera in my house.

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Responses

  1. Damn I misread it and thought it was a new diet!

    Don’t worry mum, my flatmates keep feeding me vegetables. What is THAT all about? xx


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