Posted by: Admin | January 25, 2011

The last BIG Question – What holds you back?

If you’ve been following the BIG Question posts and decided to draw up your own “guide to me”, as it were, you’ll now have an awareness of what you hate, what you love, your strengths and weaknesses and how they all fit together to form your key needs. You might even have scored your options according to those needs and decided on a course of action. You’re fired up with enthusiasm, you’re in the starting blocks and… what?

Is your mind flooded with “yes, buts”? So you’re normal, then. Human.

Now, I am not so disingenuous that I will pretend that it’ll be easy, or that I don’t have some advantages that you might not have. Primarily, I am fortunate that I am married to a man who earns enough to put a roof over my head and food on my table (thank you, by the way). Conversely, my personal circumstances are such that I have zero access to credit and, while he has helped me as much as he can, my husband doesn’t have the spare funds to set up my business. However, I firmly believe that there’s always a way (when the will is strong enough). For me, it was to reduce my hours at work so that I could fund my business set up costs. It meant working 70 – 90 hours a week, with all the attendant sacrifices, for several months.

What holds you back is often deeper than practicalities. Be honest – what holds you back? Here’s my list:

CONFIDENCE : I was still on medication after a long period of depression. I was hormonal, struggling with the whole empty nest thing and generally felt the past few years had given me a good kicking.

FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH : I didn’t want to expose myself to the world and find I was mediocre. I feel a cold shiver just typing this!

FEAR OF FAILURE : Who doesn’t feel this? She who never did anything never failed at anything. Fear can be a useful propellant – or a total brake. You choose.

SELF CONSCIOUSNESS : Rightly or wrongly, I struggled with the fact that I was 48, overweight and hadn’t coped very well (in my opinion) with some of the arrows life had aimed at me recently.

The thing is to be aware of the things that hold us back, and take responsibility for them. I made a conscious decision to MAKE myself face up to all of the above. I wish I could report that it was a breeze. It wasn’t. It isn’t. Barely a day goes by when I don’t have to force myself to do something, or put myself in a position where one of the above challenges doesn’t rear it’s ugly head. But the point is, I’m doing it. I’m loving it. And eventually, I hope, it’ll get easier!

Tomorrow, in the last of these posts, we’ll look at creating that road map that will lead you forward. See you then 😉



  1. You know we’re twins don’t you?

  2. What hold me back is plain & simple lack of money. I work in a low paid job, I do many different things to earn extra money but it has all been swallowed up on day to day living. My beloved has finally found permanent work which is making things easier but we are still playing catchup.

  3. I’m beginning to wonder, WH!

    Hester – good to hear from you again. You have my sympathy. It can be like digging a trench with a teaspoon when you’re always chasing your tail financially. What you would want to do if money was no object?

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