Posted by: Admin | April 6, 2011

On blogging

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: this blogging business is a peculiar malarky. Did you see that ad for Mother’s Day last week? The one where the voice over says: she’s the hands in the picture, the woman with no head in photographs because she’s standing behind you, the subject, etc etc? Well, project50 started because I wanted to reclaim my space, to become visible again after years of nurturing and supporting others. I decided to raise my head above the parapet, open my heart – however you might like to see it – and move forward unafraid and fully engaged with the world outside my door.

It has been a little scary, at times. I’ve started my business, started networking in my local area and created a professional persona, and yet all those people have access to my innermost thoughts, my most inane witterings, even the admission that I do not always feel positive, confident and all those shiny things self employed people are supposed to pretend to be, 24/7.

I’ve exposed myself, and my family, to public scrutiny, which invites criticism as well as positive connection. I’ve laid my life bare so that complete strangers, who I have met to interview for the project, know things about me no one usually knows on first meeting. It’s weird, in a way, but it also clears the way for me to be absolutely, 100% my authentic self for pretty much 100% of the time. There’s no point in feeling insecure, or shy when I walk into a room – everyone there has access to this blog, should they want to read it. They know me, even when I don’t know them.

I have yet to decide if this is a good or bad thing. It’s good, insofar as most of the feedback is positive, plus it helps when people have heard of you at least when you network with them. However, over the life of the blog, certain events have occurred within my family that have inhibited me, made me censor myself and my output far more than I would like.

I haven’t yet, for example, talked about being a grandparent, which is a huge omission in a blog about turning 50. I haven’t talked about the impact of children’s marriages breaking down, something that many of us are required to process. Certain topics have the potential to upset, anger, or embarrass people I know.

Of course, it is their choice whether they read this blog. It is also their choice to read the factual articles I intend to write over the next few days and see them as a personal polemic. I want to be clear: project50 was always meant to be a way of connecting with others who are turning 50 and to discuss the important issues that affect us as well as have fun with the lighter articles, photographs and music. I feel very strongly that I should not allow myself to be censored by worrying about how my words might be taken out of context, or twisted to suit the agenda of others.

So if there are topics that matter to you that you would like me to cover, please do get in touch. I would like to create a little more substance to the blog alongside the enjoyable fluff!

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Responses

  1. It is tricky knowing where to draw the line when writing about personal stuff. There are things in my childhood that I would like to write about because I’m sure that it would really help some people, but I worry that some of the detail could be painful for other people or that the other people involved may not want that stuff said out loud. It is indeed a dilemma.

    Clarissa Dickson-Wright was once asked when she would be writing her biography as she has, by all accounts, lead a hell of a life. Her answer was concise. “I’m afraid not enough people are dead yet”.

  2. Very well said. I have enjoyed reading all of your blog.

  3. Thank you both. WH, I’ve read your post about school and was moved. As you say, being open these things can help others as well as oneself. Writers have mined their own experiences for time immemorial, I think it is this new form that is troubling, it being both promiscuous and permanent, (if you see what I mean!)


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