Posted by: Admin | August 22, 2011

I take my husband for granted…

… and he does me, but I would argue that that is a VERY GOOD THING. Allow me to explain.

When I married him, 30 years ago today, it was with the intention of spending today celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary together. Ok, not specifically, but you get my drift. Last year, I wrote him a Letter here on the blog, so if you’ve been with me since then you probably know how I feel about him. Over the years, I’ve noticed that I only ever really think about our relationship when we’re out of tune with each other. Most of the time, it’s a fact of life. 

We’re like Morecombe and Wise, cheese and biscuits, Fred and Ginger (but without the dancing). He’s the Tonto to my Lone Ranger, the wind beneath my wings, my anchor in a storm.

To paraphrase WH Auden (shame on me!), He is my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song. In a word, he is my husband. It might be old fashioned to say this, but I am proud to be his wife.

Now, I know that some of you are thinking that I am being naive (or even smug). True, there’s time yet for him to have a mid-life crisis and run off with some floozie. To fancy a beefburger when there’s steak at home. He’d find it difficult, mind, after he’s been “bobbited” (I keep a pair of rusty nail scissors on standby, just in case such surgery is required). But what’s the point of worrying about that? We’re happy now, today, and you know what? That’s enough.

Our marriage isn’t just about him and me. A wedding is the beginning of a family. The vows we made on 22nd August 1981 are set in stone as far as I am concerned (I wouldn’t mind a bit of the “for richer” though now please, dear.) They are sacred, the closest thing I have ever come to holy.

He supports all my wild ideas, both practically and emotionally. He knows me well enough to know he should never tell me not to do something. In turn, I barely batted an eyelid when he came home from work to me and our (then) three children and announced he was going to set up on his own. We have each other’s backs, and even during the times when we don’t get on so well, we are a team.

It works, I think, because we have a system.  He cooks; I eat. He makes money; I spend it. I talk; he watches the cricket (for more on this, see “Conversations with my husband“)

So you see, being taken for granted is not necessarily a bad thing. To know that your partner in life trusts you implicitly to be there for them through thick and thin, to hold your heart gently in their hands and to help you to breathe life into your dreams, gives you a warm feeling inside. To be trusted to that extent is a blessing. To walk through life with someone you, in turn, trust equally in that way is divine. That, to me, is “for richer”, and the greatest hope I have for my children is that they will each find someone whose love and support they can take for granted too.

I had a notion that I wanted to mark our anniversary by renewing our vows, but Neil was of the opinion that the old ones haven’t worn out yet. So we’ll be spending the day quietly together (because, obviously, we don’t have much to say to each other after 30 years! – boom-tish!)

How often do you wear that green T-shirt?

So, in the words of the great Slim Whitman: Darling, Happy Anniversary-eee, another year of love has gone by. Thank you for each day you give to me -eee, my darling Happy Anniversary!

Is now a good time to mention I forgot to buy you a card?



  1. Hi its Maxine from Market Harborough,
    it is such a good outlook, I wish I had a partner like yours . you seem to work really well together . It is so nice to see because when there are so many things going wrong in this world today.
    Take Care

  2. Beautiful honest words, a true partnership of trust and dreams..and and and….HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. I love that Neil said ‘the vows have not run out yet’ good on him. It is always the best team when each trust and let the others follow their dreams and support them on the way. Paul as I write in in Reed Flute Caves , Guilin, China. HE has just called me said his ‘work’ trip just gets better and better. I am so happy that he is happy and for a man who has travelled lived and worked the word intensively, still gets bowled over by sights and sounds . He rings to say, I will bring you here. HE rings to say what he is eating. When the right person is beside us, holding our hand and hearts how ever far away..we have made it and whatever life throws, we juggle and smile…..HAppy Anniversary.x

  3. Hi Jo,

    What a beautiful post. I hope that you continue to have many more happy years together. You brought tears to my soppy old eyes 😉

    Stu x

  4. Thank you all for taking the time to respond 🙂
    I wanted to mark our anniversary somehow and acknowledge that, despite thick and thin, we’ve made it this far! I know that I am very lucky. And I’m proud of myself to finally be able to say “and so is Neil”!
    Love to you all xx

  5. […] continues to become a much more interesting place) There was a party, a trip to Norway and a 30th wedding anniversary to celebrate. image © IPS […]

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